Dealing with Self Confidence in Filming

When we were picking parts for our music video re-creation, I decided to take on the part of acting to get outside my comfort zone, as I’m normally not comfortable in front of cameras. When the filming process began I realized just how much more difficult it would be.

Throughout the filming process I was anxious, but then needing to recreate the music video scene for scene was simply added pressure. I would do the scene and then when I looked at the clip it looked nothing like the original. Also, I was generally unhappy with how I looked in the clip. And that was when all the worries of letting my group down and that people would be watching this went rushing through my mind. It was so frustrating knowing that I was actively trying to create the image needed for the video, but it wasn’t turning out the way I wanted.

I realized through this project that it’s extremely difficult to confidently portray an image on camera, especially when shooting a solo scene. It would practice parts at home in my mirror, but as soon as I filmed in front of the camera, it was like I forgot everything I practiced. Also, whenever we had to do close-ups, my anxiety went through the roof and I’d often forget the lyrics I had to mouth. It was definitely really frustrating practicing by myself, and having so many issues simply because of my “camera fear.” Especially during solo shots, just knowing that my group members were watching me would make me nervous. The feeling of “all eyes on me” made me really conscious, and it wasn’t something that I could just easily fix.

I think my struggles came from not being confident enough and feeling self-conscious, and that shows in the video clips. I truly commend any idols who are constantly being filmed. It’s not always easy to be confident and charismatic on screen, as I learned through this project. It comes easier to some than others, and feeling unconfident can be a real personal issue that affects a group.